🔗 Share this article

“Well, it’s rather brutal here. The guidance we offer all of our clients to commit their entire holdings into tinned provisions and hunting rifles.” That bit of shrewd guidance comes from the Brain Gremlin – a lab-engineered, articulate, bespectacled member of the slimy Gremlin horde that infests Manhattan’s high-tech Clamp Tower skyscraper in helmer Joe Dante’s madcap sequel Gremlins 2: The New Batch. At first glance, it’s simply an portfolio pointer from one monster to another. Yet, oddly enough, it’s also pretty solid life advice. Seriously, listen to my reasoning.

When life takes a turn for the worse, the biggest mistake you can do is approach matters with excessive gravity. The Brain Gremlin comprehends this. In fact, most of the dentally-gifted beasts that occupy Dante’s chaotic 1990 feature (arguably his best) possess the same knowing, self-referential funny bone regarding the hazy boundary separating the mundane and absolute bedlam. It’s a particular aspect of Gremlins 2: The New Batch that ensures my return – and with the passage of time, it’s the message that strikes the deepest chord.

An Early Life Obsession

Of course, my fondness for this movie didn’t start on such an introspective level. Growing up, we only had a few scratched-up video tapes at home. Included within that collection were Gremlins and its sequel, the latter housed in a chunky ex-rental box probably bought from an off-brand video shop and sporting snarling creatures on its knackered cover. I was immediately enamoured and these films did not delay lodging themselves inside my young, susceptible psyche. From then on, they became an almost-daily part of my early years entertainment regimen.

Dante’s initial installment typically gets all the accolades, thanks primarily due to its legacy as a partly frightening holiday classic – and don’t get me wrong, I’ve watched Gremlins an incalculable number of times. Nevertheless, its sequel rarely gets the same level of elevated esteem, which feels criminal. As a kid, I’d invariably jump at the prospect to watch Gremlins 2. During bright summer vacations, I’d seclude myself indoors and stick it on. When I acquired my personal TV-VHS combo unit, it remained on repeat in my bedroom. Gradually, it ingrained itself in my psyche. If my parents observed this fixation, they appeared unbothered.

Hidden Discoveries and Pop-Culture Easter Eggs

As I got older, new insights enriched frequent screenings, heightening the enjoyment of watching little green monsters gleefully trash a New York high-rise. I learned the future-focused real estate tycoon and Clamp Tower owner, Daniel Clamp (John Glover), was inspired directly by future president Donald Trump, with his ginger staff member Marla (Haviland Morris) referencing his former spouse Marla Maples. Luckily, Clamp demonstrates more humanity than his actual-world equivalent.

The “end of civilisation” video Clamp plays during peak-Gremlin chaos? I discovered it was modeled after a real-life “Doomsday” video commissioned by the CNN boss Ted Turner should the world truly faced apocalypse. I noticed how Dante went out of his way to film varying versions of a meta sequence where Gremlins hijack the very film you’re watching. A version for theaters, one for VHS and TV, each providing a grinning portion of self-referential entertainment sorcery before the term was even a thing.

A Persistent Legacy

While it was makeup maestro Rick Baker’s wonderfully grotesque creatures that drew my gaze as a child, this hidden treasure kept me hooked as an adult. Eventually, I even spoke to Dante about it myself and he had no hesitation telling me he made the movie with the specific aim of mocking those who loved its absurd-yet-genuine predecessor and craved further installments. “We were going to make fun of the fact you came to see it,” he happily revealed. This Looney Tunes-esque insubordination and commitment to not take his sequel as solemnly as his Warner Bros bosses clearly wanted him to, only increased my affection for it.

When I endured a sudden family bereavement not long ago, I was surprised to find that, during my most profound sorrow, all I desired to do was sit and watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Odd, no? Perhaps not. The nostalgic calm it offered was needed to thin out my mind’s mourning mire – but the insights it had given me as an adult were just as useful.

Like Gremlins running amok in a genetics laboratory, there’s certain elements in life you just can’t control. Dante understands this. The Brain Gremlin shares this wisdom. Sometimes, you have to follow their example: embrace the chaos, invest all your resources into tinned provisions and hunting rifles and try not to view the world with undue solemnity.

It’s strong life advice from a most improbable origin – and it’s why Gremlins 2: The New Batch will eternally stand as my feelgood film.